Leaders of tomorrow

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand.

Colin Powell

We had a gathering last night, it was the pro bono group for services with the poor. It was a different year, it was a year of change. The previous unit head had been changed that broke so many hearts. He was a motivational leader, he exudes drive and the change in leaders had this drive dip. It’s so common to have some groups gets influenced into distaste once there is a change in leadership. I suppose this is the reason why there are managers who specialize in change management alone. It is calculating and a bit touch-and-go. If the new leader makes a wrong move, this could make the loyalties groupie to quit and follow their old leader. The peoples expectations will never be met, until the time they have adjusted and accepted the change is permanent and they have to make do with what they have then all will be settled.

It is a frame of mind. Undeniably there are just ‘Managers’, and it is sad when they cannot transform into leaders. Though I see that some of these managers still gets hired but their true colours surfaces up eventually and the inadequacies become evident. Leaders are made, I see hope in all. If only they would listen and adhere to the needs, couple it with their skills, incorporate their wisdom and pound to progress. Easier said? So true, very difficult to have done, definitely true.

Ask me, I’ll guide you. I have been there, though I was the one who left :). Good weekend all!

Photo from:

The guardian.com

Kiss her before its too late.

Typical day in high school, walking home from school, saying good bye to the friends for the weekend, looking forward to sleeping late and waking up late. Reading books and staying on the phone for hours are just typical teenage norms. Knowing that after 2 years I have finished High School, in Asia we finish High School at 16. Then off to University, I even started to dream of having my own car. Mom told me she will buy me one so I could take her to work then I go to school. Ahh, that sounds bliss. My father works overseas and comes home periodically, I never really knew my father as he was always away.

After University then maybe a good work in a known company, boyfriend, husband then kids. There is a summary of a teenager growing to an adult life. Shouldn’t it be? We’ll it wasn’t for me. The day that had changed my life forever was on new years day when my mother gave in to cardiac arrest and died at 40. I was 14 and my brother was 11. We were left to a father that we barely know and to our grand parents who are ageing. Then my vicious journey began. My father left overseas after 2 months, he can’t bear the pain. I was too young to comfort my brother, I guess my grand mother and aunts did all the consoling. I cannot remember. I was still trying to get a glimpse of what happened then. I can’t see anything with the tears in my eyes.

I had to fight, and fight I did. I fought the hopeful notion that all was a gag and my mom will walk pass the door anytime. alive. Fought the child in me and grew up from 14 to 40. I had to learn to be an adult the hard way. God was and is with me because I could not see how I would have survived without Him. Every struggle I had, every lost way, I look for my mom and she wasn’t there. She never will be.

Before her final arrest, she was awake and was speaking to us, she said to me “You know, I was not taken yet because He knows you and your brother still needs me.” and she smiled but after a few hours she took her last breath. This is still painful to me and it feels like yesterday when I think about it. That is why I don’t. I try to remember the good times but there were so few. I had so many regrets, I should’ve kissed her every night before I go to sleep since I was a child (as if by premonition, I started kissing her at night when I turned 13), I should’ve been a nicer daughter (smart is all I have ever been but never nice) and I should’ve helped her more, I should’ve …, I should’ve…,

Too late, sigh, go ahead, that is all I could do. I changed. This tragedy changed me.

What changed in me since then? I grab every chance I get, to say what I feel, to express what I really want to do and think, to kiss in gratitude and love, to cry and comment specially to the ones I love as I don’t want to have regrets anymore. It took years to get to this stage, decades actually.

I am definitely stronger than I used to be. If given the choice I don’t mind not being this strong as long as I have my mother. This is why my attribution is always with mothers as it is the only way I could pay homage to the person I could’ve kissed and hugged more.

Life it indeed too short, we don’t live that long to experience all what life has to offer, learn from me. Take a look around, see if you are neglecting someone and kiss her/him before its too late.

Picture from:

http://cmoh.blogspot.ca/2012/12/night-road.html

Calmness is the cradle of power – Josiah Gilbert holland

Calmness is a gift. Not everyone can play, er shall we say, ‘cool’? I have been taught by my very first mentor that the key to any situation is being calm. Calm defined as ice running down ones veins. And to Justify Mr. Holland’s wisdom quote, it is a source of power. In an argument, the man with the loudest voice gets attention, but the quiet one is given consideration. He thinks steady and waits for the right time, when the ranting opponent gets tired and frustrated then he logically explains in simple words, carefully-thought-off retort that would set the opponent off guard. A chance that will give way for the silent calm man to win his war amidst the battles.

It is in calmness when logic sets in, ideas to flow, positive energy to float and emanate every fibre of a being. Taking over the scenario, taking charge of the task. I had found that being calm and in peace have its most advantage compared to stress and turmoil. It is evident in the description alone of these opposing words. Now the big question and challenge is, how does one acquire this calmness? It’s almost an impossibility with the noise, chaos, and stress we all are undergoing. Gritting our teeth, seething and fist clenching reactions are most seemingly common than peace.

Being a realist, I take it as it is. But being an optimist makes me wait for tomorrow and what my words will bring. I have high hopes to the people in the future. As long as there is wisdom, peace will be sought and when calmness is achieved there will be the universal wisdom, Oom!

Picture from:

http://www.redefininglifecoaching.com/create-a-little-more-calm-in-your-life/

“If I agree with you then we’ll both be wrong.”- House, M.D.

May 21, 2014

Quote of the day (Ironic content)

“If I agree with you then we’ll both be wrong.”- House, M.D.

Being brutally honest has its perks. The comments that immediately leaves your lips with so little of an after thought does not leave a grating-burning-regretful sensation at the back of your throat. It actually makes you feel good speaking the truth out loud. But with that being said, why are most people who are THAT honest are termed anti-social or worst yet, a socio path?

And yes, being educated may or may influence the socio path issue, remember ethics is always the last subject prior to graduation. Then again, it could just be human nature, urging itself out and being pleased with one self.

Socio paths does not have much friends, if there is one at all. It is a condition but truth be told, honest truth is needed in this world. It is the delivery and show of proper empathic gestures would make a hard-ground-crushing remark acceptable.

But no matter, humans we all are. Any remark as long as its not good would be taken not as acceptable as a praise. As the French people say C’est bonne!

Photo insert from:

http://orchestroscopy.blogspot.ca/2010_08_01_archive.html

The Million Dream

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an robotic ward robe that would identify matching clothes and accessories plus an added information of when was the last time you wore that number? Or spend $2000 for dinner of 5 people, 2 adults and 3 kids at a Teppanyaki bar? Well it sure is nice to be Victoria Beckham. Oh I forgot, there is a palace where one can roam around and have your mail mistakenly dropped at the Beckingham palace because of the nearness of the names (ludicrous, but true!).

Anyway, aren’t people always dream of winning the lotto or having a sudden windfall that finally you can chuck the old wagon for a 4 wheel drive BMW (some don’t need the windfall and manage to have the BMW, though most of them in these situations doesn’t sleep very well at night) . How does one make it? I got an advise from a self made millionaire who is an author of how to be a millionaire book and yes, write a book on how to be a millionaire and it works. Or flip houses, in Las Vegas that is a hit. And yes, make your own business. Very few people get rich working, if at all.

I am about to start a venture and I will blog all the details of that venture here for the delight of the dreamers like me. Who knows maybe I will be flaunting my Hermes Evelyne bag in a year or two, huh! Fashionestees’ about to come.

Photo courtesy of:

http://douglasvermeeren.wordpress.com/tag/how-many-millionaires-are-made-each-day/

Office Bully!

Have you had an office bully? The one who has control over you say, a supervisor, a visa officer, or just a colleague that annoyingly saunters into a room, expecting all eyes on him/her like he/she is the best gift of the universe?

We’ll I had that, for nearly 10 years before I gained enough zen to zone him out hah! How much of a bully, alright, I’m about 5’2″ and average built. He’s a 6’2″ large built, bile-spitting-visa officer of the company that everyone is nice to because he can make a mess that would throw you out of the country as fast as you can say “ok”. And he threatens everyone with that. He’s rude, annoying, unprofessional who make snide remarks that’s demeaning to women and humiliating to men. Yes, for a fact, the guy barely speaks English and had self learned, started working when he was 14, so there goes the ethics from school. Ah, but he can make wonders, difficult transaction he can execute as he uses the “I’m-annoying-so-u-gotta-give-what-I-want-to-get-rid-of-me” style, and man does that work!

He was so bad he had to turn in one of my colleagues awaiting legal residency because she asked for a receipt on his transactions! (She’s accounts payable by the way). The boss is at his mercy, having those red tapes and what-not. Mind you, I had worked on having that guy fired but no matter what I do, he’s still there. Until the day his head grew so big, he head banged the boss, alas! After 12 years together, he and my boss went their separate ways. To the happy indignation of my true self and the 60 other people who had to endure him to survive in the middle east, he’s finally gone! But that’s 10 years, though he just visits @ least once or twice a week during that time which made me endure working there still. In another place and time, that guy’s best job can’t have human interaction. He was fired from the rest of the companies he also worked with when he was fired from our company. I just realized how lucky I am to have that over with, boy was I ever thankful it is! I have a female version of this, maybe next blog 😉

Picture from:

http://www.baselinemag.com/c/a/Intelligence/Office-Bullies-Make-Work-Hard-372093/

A Mother is born

Tick, tick, tick, tick, time ticking and the moment is growing near for another mother to be born.

It is normal that we shower attention to all new babies, this blog is for the mothers that gives way to the spotlight for their kids.

My advise before the due date, sleep and rest as much as you can. It is going to be a fun filled adventure. My son’s paediatrician was also a friend and when I asked him when will my life get back to normal (my son was 1 month old then) he answered “Oh in about 19 years, give or take a year.” and then he smiled.

True to the fact, motherhood had changed my world. I didn’t imagine I would still enjoy Disneyland pass my 30’s :). Or be able to make houses out of Lego bricks (remnants of what used to be cars or ships) and be more creative.

Yes, there are sleepless nights, cranky moments and tantrum spells but they all go away and mutates into task arguments, Ipad or TV time and bedtime. The venture continues and so will my blog.

For all the babies to be born soon, en guard! A mother will be born with you!

Sunset in Vancouver

Yellow back draft with hints of gold glittering on the air before darkness sets it. Sunset in Vancouver, today that is at 8:48pm. Nice to play a round of golf before heading home.

Talked to an old friend yesterday. She still lives in Dubai and is still running with the crowd to make it to the finish line. I told her I started a blog, and she smiled (skype 🙂 ) she said, “Ah finally you have the time.” And she still doesn’t. Life in Dubai with its numerous perks are so tempting. Malls are open until 10 pm on normal days and until 1am in Ramadan for a whole month. It’s a festivity!

Do I miss it? The shopping, well yeah! My brother and his family, definite yes! But other than that, hmmm, not really. I miss the people but my life there as a whole, no. I work long hours, I barely see my son. I had witnessed my office plant grow though. Not a very good sign.

Vancouver with its heart is different. I am human here. I finally get to watch movies (not to exaggerate but I could squeeze a movie or 2 only in a year) with the pace I was living in.

Less money, less pizzazz, more life? I was more alive in Vancouver, alive to see life not running pass by you but with you. I am finally living it! And enjoy watching the sunset in Vancouver at 8:48 tonight.

Odds and Ends 3

Alright getting back on my migration topics, do you know that the worlds tallest building is in Dubai, UAE? It’s called Burj Khalifa, I won’t go with the calculated height of it, it’s easy to google anyway, I will just show you how it looked like on New Year’s Eve courtesy of my Michael Jarabelo’s persistence on this night.

Though according to CNN the next tallest building will be built in 2014 in Saudi Arabia, Jeddah to be exact and will be 1kilometer in the skies. I’ll wait for the pictures.

Before Burj Khalifa out shown all hotels and tall buildings in Dubai there is Burj Al Arab and they have an amazing evening for couples where you have 1 bedroom suite and an adjoining parlor that you will share with another couple to be served by your own butler for the night. Now, how’s that for a memorable night. I’m unsure if they have that offer still, that was in 2011. Has been awhile.

Now if you are envisioning having dinner in the tallest building in the world, there is this nice restaurant that I personally recommend, try the At.Mosphere, Foie gras to start and veal as main, you won’t be sorry. Schedule the dinner as soon as you can in 2014 before Saudi snatches the Guinness record title 😉

Post Mother’s Day

A day after Mother’s day, what great stories do everyone carry? My 8 year old son made a very thoughtful poster that he gingerly hid last Friday and made sure I wont see you it until Sunday. The hiding effort is already too much fun and can’t wait when he finally remembered to give it to me. Plus he was sweet enough to prepare my toothbrush and mug last night as his passing gesture for his subservient celebration of Mother’s Day. I am very lucky! I was asked by an acquaintance what was my plan for Mother’s day. I said I am going to light a candle. And the obvious question is why should I light a candle. My mother passed away when I was 14 years old. I light a candle to remember her on mother’s day. There’s no getting over it, just getting used to it was and is the only coping mechanism me and my brother could come up with. We are survivors, we have to be. One curious topic on motherhood. What is a mother? According to Wikipedia (which if used in a Masteral context, is not a substantive source of information, in other words, Wikipedia is a good tool for definition but not that good to be used as reference. So in this regard, I am just simply informing) motherhood is basically related to bearing an offspring or had been an object of making an offspring. If you ask me, I would like to broaden that definition to all women who had given birth in their hearts instead of their tummies. Nurturing and caring for children similar to mothers as how are we going to account the mothers who adopted kids or had been a great aunt or sister. Now the difference in my definition between mother’s and none mother’s is the birth process itself. Yes, the birth process is a great effort indeed (up until 2-3 years ago, the memory still send shivers down my spine) but so is motherhood. If I as a child had not given the chance for my aunt or grandmother or all the other females that mothered me on the days that I need one the most, then I wont be where I am now. I thank them all. The friends, acquaintances and even neighbours that had taken the inkling to mother me, I gave them all the chance. It fed my hunger and formed me that led to the success of being a mother. Let’s play it light, kids has to be loved, cared and fussed on, give all the available females the right to do that. The world will be a better place with it anyway. Cuddle away!

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