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Leaders of tomorrow

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Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand.

Colin Powell

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We had a gathering last night, it was the pro bono group for services with the poor. It was a different year, it was a year of change. The previous unit head had been changed that broke so many hearts. He was a motivational leader, he exudes drive and the change in leaders had this drive dip. It’s so common to have some groups gets influenced into distaste once there is a change in leadership. I suppose this is the reason why there are managers who specialize in change management alone. It is calculating and a bit touch-and-go. If the new leader makes a wrong move, this could make the loyalties groupie to quit and follow their old leader.  The peoples expectations will never be met, until the time they have adjusted and accepted the change is permanent and they have to make do with what they have then all will be settled. 

 

It is a frame of mind. Undeniably there are just ‘Managers’, and it is sad when they cannot transform into leaders. Though I see that some of these managers still gets hired but their true colours surfaces up eventually and the inadequacies become evident. Leaders are made, I see hope in all. If only they would listen and adhere to the needs, couple it with their skills, incorporate their wisdom and pound to progress. Easier said? So true, very difficult to have done, definitely true. 

 

Ask me, I’ll guide you. I have been there, though I was the one who left :).  Good weekend all!

Photo from:

The guardian.com

Kiss her before its too late.

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Typical day in high school, walking home from school, saying good bye to the friends for the weekend, looking forward to sleeping late and waking up late. Reading books and staying on the phone for hours are just typical teenage norms. Knowing that after 2 years I have finished High School, in Asia we finish High School at 16. Then off to University, I even started to dream of having my own car. Mom told me she will buy me one so I could take her to work then I go to school. Ahh, that sounds bliss. My father works overseas and comes home periodically, I never really knew my father as he was always away.

 

After University then maybe a good work in a known company, boyfriend, husband then kids. There is a summary of a teenager growing to an adult life. Shouldn’t it be? We’ll it wasn’t for me. The day that had changed my life forever was on new years day when my mother gave in to cardiac arrest and died at 40. I was 14 and my brother was 11. We were left to a father that we barely know and to our grand parents who are ageing. Then my vicious journey began. My father left overseas after 2 months, he can’t bear the pain. I was too young to comfort my brother, I guess my grand mother and aunts did all the consoling. I cannot remember. I was still trying to get a glimpse of what happened then. I can’t see anything with the tears in my eyes.

I had to fight, and fight I did. I fought the hopeful notion that all was a gag and my mom will walk pass the door anytime. alive. Fought the child in me and grew up from 14 to 40. I had to learn to be an adult the hard way. God was and is with me because I could not see how I would have survived without Him. Every struggle I had, every lost way, I look for my mom and she wasn’t there. She never will be.

 

Before her final arrest, she was awake and was speaking to us, she said to me “You know, I was not taken yet because He knows you and your brother still needs me.” and she smiled but after a few hours she took her last breath. This is still painful to me and it feels like yesterday when I think about it. That is why I don’t. I try to remember the good times but there were so few. I had so many regrets, I should’ve kissed her every night before I go to sleep since I was a child (as if by premonition, I started kissing her at night when I turned 13), I should’ve been a nicer daughter (smart is all I have ever been but never nice) and I should’ve helped her more, I should’ve …, I should’ve…,

Too late, sigh, go ahead, that is all I could do. I changed. This tragedy changed me.

What changed in me since then? I grab every chance I get, to say what I feel, to express what I really want to do and think, to kiss in gratitude and love, to cry and comment specially to the ones I love as I don’t want to have regrets anymore. It took years to get to this stage, decades actually.

I am definitely stronger than I used to be. If given the choice I don’t mind not being this strong as long as I have my mother. This is why my attribution is always with mothers as it is the only way I could pay homage to the person I could’ve kissed and hugged more.

Life it indeed too short, we don’t live that long to experience all what life has to offer, learn from me. Take a look around, see if you are neglecting someone and kiss her/him before its too late.

 

Picture from:

http://cmoh.blogspot.ca/2012/12/night-road.html

Calmness is the cradle of power – Josiah Gilbert holland

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Calmness is the cradle of power – Josiah Gilbert holland

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Calmness is a gift. Not everyone can play, er shall we say, ‘cool’? I have been taught by my very first mentor that the key to any situation is being calm. Calm defined as ice running down ones veins. And to Justify Mr. Holland’s wisdom quote, it is a source of power. In an argument, the man with the loudest voice gets attention, but the quiet one is given consideration. He thinks steady and waits for the right time, when the ranting opponent gets tired and frustrated then he logically explains in simple words, carefully-thought-off retort that would set the opponent off guard. A chance that will give way for the silent calm man to win his war amidst the battles.

 

It is in calmness when logic sets in, ideas to flow, positive energy to float and emanate every fibre of a being. Taking over the scenario, taking charge of the task. I had found that being calm and in peace have its most advantage compared to stress and turmoil. It is evident in the description alone of these opposing words. Now the big question and challenge is, how does one acquire this calmness? It’s almost an impossibility with the noise, chaos, and stress we all are undergoing. Gritting our teeth, seething and fist clenching reactions are most seemingly common than peace.

Being a realist, I take it as it is. But being an optimist makes me wait for tomorrow and what my words will bring. I have high hopes to the people in the future. As long as there is wisdom, peace will be sought and when calmness is achieved there will be the universal wisdom, Oom!

 

 

Picture from:

http://www.redefininglifecoaching.com/create-a-little-more-calm-in-your-life/

“If I agree with you then we’ll both be wrong.”- House, M.D.

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May 21, 2014

Quote of the day (Ironic content)

“If I agree with you then we’ll both be wrong.”- House, M.D.

 

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Being brutally honest has its perks. The comments that immediately leaves your lips with so little of an after thought does not leave a grating-burning-regretful sensation at the back of your throat. It actually makes you feel good speaking the truth out loud. But with that being said, why are most people who are THAT honest are termed anti-social or worst yet, a socio path? 

And yes, being educated may or may influence the socio path issue, remember ethics is always the last subject prior to graduation. Then again, it could just be human nature, urging itself out and being pleased with one self.

Socio paths does not have much friends, if there is one at all. It is a condition but truth be told, honest truth is needed in this world. It is the delivery and show of proper empathic gestures would make a hard-ground-crushing remark acceptable. 

 

 

But no matter, humans we all are. Any remark as long as its not good would be taken not as acceptable as a praise. As the French people say C’est bonne!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo insert from:

http://orchestroscopy.blogspot.ca/2010_08_01_archive.html

The Million Dream

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Wouldn’t it be nice to have an robotic ward robe that would identify matching clothes and accessories plus an added information of when was the last time you wore that number? Or spend $2000 for dinner of 5 people, 2 adults and 3 kids at a Teppanyaki bar? Well it sure is nice to be Victoria Beckham. Oh I forgot, there is a palace where one can roam around and have your mail mistakenly dropped at the Beckingham palace because of the nearness of the names (ludicrous, but true!).

 

Anyway, aren’t people always dream of winning the lotto or having a sudden windfall that finally you can chuck the old wagon for a 4 wheel drive BMW (some don’t need the windfall and manage to have the BMW, though most of them in these situations doesn’t sleep very well at night) . How does one make it? I got an advise from a self made millionaire who is an author of how to be a millionaire book and yes, write a book on how to be a millionaire and it works. Or flip houses, in Las Vegas that is a hit. And yes, make your own business. Very few people get rich working, if at all.

I am about to start a venture and I will blog all the details of that venture here for the delight of the dreamers like me. Who knows maybe I will be flaunting my Hermes Evelyne bag in a year or two, huh! Fashionestees’ about to come.

Photo courtesy of:

http://douglasvermeeren.wordpress.com/tag/how-many-millionaires-are-made-each-day/

Sunset in Vancouver

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Yellow back draft with hints of gold glittering on the air before darkness sets it. Sunset in Vancouver, today that is at 8:48pm. Nice to play a round of golf before heading home.

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Talked to an old friend yesterday. She still lives in Dubai and is still running with the crowd to make it to the finish line. I told her I started a blog, and she smiled (skype 🙂 ) she said, “Ah finally you have the time.” And she still doesn’t. Life in Dubai with its numerous perks are so tempting. Malls are open until 10 pm on normal days and until 1am in Ramadan for a whole month. It’s a festivity!

Do I miss it? The shopping, well yeah! My brother and his family, definite yes! But other than that, hmmm, not really. I miss the people but my life there as a whole, no. I work long hours, I barely see my son. I had witnessed my office plant grow though. Not a very good sign.

Vancouver with its heart is different. I am human here. I finally get to watch movies (not to exaggerate but I could squeeze a movie or 2 only in a year) with the pace I was living in.

Less money, less pizzazz, more life? I was more alive in Vancouver, alive to see life not running pass by you but with you. I am finally living it! And enjoy watching the sunset in Vancouver at 8:48 tonight.

sunset walk

 

 

ASKLYZMD

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MD, Medical Doctor? Music Director? Message Digest? Modern Drummer? Madarina Duck? Marriage Degree? I could go on for the next 3 pages pondering on the meaning of md at the end of my blog name. This being my first blog, I let you decide which one you prefer. I dreamed of being a doctor once though fate has other plans for me. Pushed by responsibilities at a young age, I had to cope with life early. Lost my mom at a very young age, deserted by my father years later on (though he waited for me and my brother to finish school at least). Tried to win him with the step mom but lost that battle eventually. I am now left with the bittersweet memory of settling in the “as-long-as-he-is-happy” notion. I guess I am done. Moved to 2 countries, 14 years in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (now that is an exciting adventure, on the food and exotics alone I could talk for a year non-stop) and now in Canada for almost 2 years, here I am still trying to get as much exciting things to talk about and enjoying the journey so far. I was motivated by friends to start my blog and see how this goes. I was told I give good advice and not be judgmental about it (so true, I will even research it for you! I find it fun). To some, knowing stuff takes interests, to me, its a new fact, just get a glimpse of what it is and dive down further if it gets interesting. If it involves income, then hey, let’s roll out those sleeves and get to work. Evidently, that’s my sneak preview. See you next post.